Back in Brooklyn for my Birthday

This is during the two weeks I was still in Bushwick. I miss the stores, and restaurants, and bars, and vibes of Bushwick, even though I love my home in Flatbush. This was just a hot care that was hanging out on the sidewalk as I ran to the liquor shop to pick up wine (and cups! the guy rolled his eyes and gave me cups for the park) and then to Starr Barr to pick up Jil's produce she couldn't get.

Cody Rae made me cupcakes! 

It was so last minute, and so pandemic. Nicole biked from Park Slope and Cody Rae and Parker came from relatively nearby. It was so nice to see everyone. Before I went upstate I took a walk with Cody Rae at least once a week, and I got to see her upstate, I haven't seen her in a hot minute now though, I miss my friends. Nicole I saw at halloween, Parker I haven't seen in ages. Maybe since this, actually. I was going to do thanksgiving with her and Elise, but the numbers went up, and we all canceled. 

I ordered myself a very expensive cake, I ate it for a week. 

 

A hike I hiked

 

More Upstate Moments

This was a super sweet lady across the road who had a yard sale every weekend the last month I was upstate. I went and checked it out a few times, but I came back at the very end to see her quilts. I didn't end up buying any of them, which I felt bad about because she opened up her little guest house full of quilts just more me, as I got there after the sale was already over (I think we'd just come back from apple picking) but none of them quite spoke to me. They were all very impressive though. 

I liked sitting in the yard reading the Mary Oliver book I got in one of the towns. It's a big ol' anthology and it's all about nature, her poems are all nature-y. I wish I had gotten into the habit of doing it every morning. 

Goldenrod I was drying for dying hanging from the attic latch. I left it there in the end. 

Andrea's ceramic pyramid. I brought it up on the dash, I brought it down on the dash. So careful all the way around New York, and god knows where it is now... honestly now sure where I put it. I really liked it as a talisman for moving though. A delicate icon for migration. 
 

C'est Moi

This is also from upstate times. I haven't bathed in light like this in months. I really miss working in the fresh air without a mask on; we just had a COVID scare at work (we're all fine) but now we've switched to everyone wearing KN95 masks and they really press down on my nose, and shoot air at my eyes and dry them out, and pull at the back on my ears. I hate wearing them, but it's what must be done. A few weeks back the virus mutated and now the new English version is super catchable. I've been walking down the street with my mask down when I don't see anyone for awhile, but I've seen recommendations to not even pull that shit, so I'm NOT looking forward to ever leaving the house ever again. 

Anyways, I love these photos. I've been super anxious lately and have been eating, eating, eating, gaining, gaining, gaining weight. I feel truly ugly, so it's nice to see a version of myself that doesn't feel like a horrible monster cupcake. 

 

The Upstate Studio

 

The Camper and the Apple Farm

This is from months ago at the end of my time upstate. Adriene's parents Alan and Cindy drove up in this RV that Alan restored, they stayed in front of the house for a few days. Conor came up at the same time, so we returned the rental and used his jeep and the RV to get around. It was so nice having more people around, we went out for dinner a few times, (to a place with a blue lives matter flag on the wall- I didn't see it till I looked up at the waiter to order... ) and they went for some hikes, we made fires, s'mores, went back to the amazing meat shop and got some steaks.

 Also we fulfilled my desire to go apple picking. Cindy, Conor, and Adriene were so good about picking one apple here, another apple there. Alan and I though- whoo baby!- by the end our bags were giving us a workout! I also got some black beeswax candles and some beautiful German (?? my memory is faulty here) plums. The apples lasted for ages, and about a month, two months later I turned them into delicious apple sauce back in Brooklyn in my Dutch Oven. 

 

Perfect Morning ( a draft from last year)

Oh god, it is a perfect morning. The air is cool, but not cold, even when the breeze comes. The light is beautiful and yellow, but not bright. The tree that has been turning red does not disappoint. Nothing has shocked into autumn overnight, but instead there is one tree (I wish I knew the names of trees) leading the charge- no not the charge, the amble - and he has been slowly changing the tips of his fingers a pleasing russet for the past few weeks. He is highlighted with the hope of fall. 

I have hiccups. I have had three sips of coffee only, and here, hello, the hiccups. The chair I'm sitting in has been cleared of dew but for the arm rests and the bottom edge of the lounge part, where I've tucked my heels. 

Something I've enjoyed about living here is the barefootedness of the yard. The grass is long and soft and I like to patter out, shoeless, and wiggle my toes in the dewy lawn. Or at the fire, I like to pick up pieces of ashy wood with my toes and throw them in with surprising accuracy. 

We're applying for an apartment. Surprisingly, financially I am the best candidate on paper. Employed for the last 4 years consistently. But my credit is rotten. Oh I've fucked myself properly. But one thing at a time. 

I wish I didn't have to shower everyday. The whole production.